How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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