Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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