btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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