Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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