Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
