apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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