i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
