My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
