The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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