how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
