Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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