It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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