I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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