I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
