put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want a musical about memes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
