Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
