Christians are straight up FREAKS
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
they need to just BURY HIM!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
