Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
