Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize