Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize