and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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