all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
