In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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