the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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