So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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