i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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