apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"