Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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  (810): Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me?? http://tfl.nu/91ci
  Replies (2) Good night (1138) Bad night (1508)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

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  (425): God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis. http://tfl.nu/n22o
  Replies (21) Good night (543) Bad night (2172)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.

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  (616): And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard. http://tfl.nu/ztg2
  Replies (18) Good night (1242) Bad night (3365)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.

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  (708): Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic. http://tfl.nu/b2ov
  Replies (15) Good night (1702) Bad night (5920)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.

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  (919): You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad. http://tfl.nu/r24i
  Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (2229)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.

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  (205): He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero. http://tfl.nu/osga
  Replies (6) Good night (3518) Bad night (701)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm

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  (505): I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm http://tfl.nu/1dm0
  Replies (4) Good night (809) Bad night (1253)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

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  (314): I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/tow2
  Replies (4) Good night (1604) Bad night (572)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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  (309): Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. http://tfl.nu/8989
  Replies (5) Good night (925) Bad night (677)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You pretty much isn't said it

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Those words don't go together.

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  (954): You pretty much isn't said it (404): Those words don't go together. http://tfl.nu/8gl1
  Replies (7) Good night (2368) Bad night (765)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

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  (419): I have dibs on his crisis of faith. http://tfl.nu/qzr2
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (443)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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  (610): You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now. http://tfl.nu/4au1
  Replies (4) Good night (905) Bad night (401)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets

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  (561): I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets http://tfl.nu/vj1n
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (440)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?

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  (330): Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to? http://tfl.nu/t7h6
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (484)
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  (451): View more from

  Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'

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  (451): Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole' http://tfl.nu/cajz
  Replies (1) Good night (241) Bad night (417)

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