Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis