Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you hooked up with him?

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  (908): Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit? (617) Remember that time you hooked up with him? http://tfl.nu/yz0c
  Replies (7) Good night (758) Bad night (1439)
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  (510): View more from California

  called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

  (1-510): View more from California

  you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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  (510): called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic? (1-510): you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore. http://tfl.nu/b816
  Replies (19) Good night (2624) Bad night (802)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand

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  (970): Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand http://tfl.nu/igpj
  Replies (24) Good night (2610) Bad night (1130)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

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  (352): my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better. http://tfl.nu/j6r0
  Replies (17) Good night (1078) Bad night (4972)
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  (626): View more from California

  dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.

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  (626): dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing. http://tfl.nu/anwj
  Replies (66) Good night (5553) Bad night (2107)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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  (727): he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jd33
  Replies (39) Good night (5589) Bad night (1013)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night

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  (905): i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night http://tfl.nu/m366
  Replies (12) Good night (5784) Bad night (1135)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.

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  (651): they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight. http://tfl.nu/8039
  Replies (7) Good night (5062) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.

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  (214): We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog. http://tfl.nu/53ei
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (2956)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night

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  (412): I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night http://tfl.nu/c70m
  Replies (30) Good night (2464) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5

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  (+44): i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5 http://tfl.nu/ljio
  Replies (14) Good night (2890) Bad night (774)
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  (958): View more from

  her vagina just converted me to Judaism.

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  (958): her vagina just converted me to Judaism. http://tfl.nu/z5ti
  Replies (5) Good night (1281) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

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  (561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way. http://tfl.nu/yi36
  Replies (4) Good night (861) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever

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  (613): I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere (514): Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever http://tfl.nu/1t8i
  Replies (6) Good night (1238) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year

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  (864): Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year http://tfl.nu/8srd
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (254)

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