I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
