Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
