The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
