I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
