I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
