Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
