two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
