Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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