Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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