do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
