You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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