Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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