he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
