I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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