please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
