Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I am mentally ready for anal.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You don't make any sense
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