why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I believe in your delicious
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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