Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
This toilet bowl is my home.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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