guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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