you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
