She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
