I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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