Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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