I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
