Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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