ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
