Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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