Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
is that a dick in a sweater?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
