JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
