If i come over, it means nothing
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
