I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
