sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize