You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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