he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
