Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
