we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
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No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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